my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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