She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
