I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
