Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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