Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
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I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
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But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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