Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
