watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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