these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
