READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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