I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize