I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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