I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do you still have your period?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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