woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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