Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he shaved USA in his pubs
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
