i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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