dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
