I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
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