Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize