I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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