I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
