Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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