Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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