I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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