guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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