In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
