New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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