talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
