Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
