Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Randomize
