Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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