I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
