I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
