We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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