those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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