Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I stole a fireplace last night.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
