her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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