idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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