just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
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What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize