You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
