Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
