watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
