Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
