I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
