My balls are so social today.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
