Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
