You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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