I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
