I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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