What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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