what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
