I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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