Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
