well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
