you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
