bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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