Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
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Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
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So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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