In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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