the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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