stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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