My nipple is on Facebook.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
