he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
