I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
