i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
