I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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